"We know a number of international companies who are hiring. Can you pass for under 12?"

A day’s work
"As a cutter grinder my job was to sharpen milling cutters," recalls Elmer Hornyak (UAW Local 163) of Howell, Mich. "The general foreman asked me how many cutters I sharpened in one day. With tongue in cheek, I replied, ‘I sharpen all I can, and then I sharpen one more.’ He paused a moment, then walked away."

Inch by inch
"Many years ago our plant departments were equipped with steel desks that had a row of pigeonholes across the top," says Bert Parker (UAW Local 167) of Dorr, Mich. "The die room foreman was a stern but not too tall guy who would sit on a stool and watch the department like a hawk over the top of his desk. Once or twice a week some third shift guys would saw about 1/8" off the legs of the boss’s stool and replace it at the desk. It took a few months, but the boss finally disappeared behind his desk."

Safe sox?
"I worked with an engineer who was very naive," recalls T.F. Boone (UAW Local 2293) of Chicago, Ill. "One day the shoemobile showed up to sell safety shoes, and this naive engineer decided to buy a pair. One of my co-workers suggested to him that safety shoes were too expensive and that he should buy safety socks, which were far less expensive. We all watched out the window as he entered the shoemobile, wondering how the shoe salesman would react."

The aging process
"Walking an aisle at the Lorain Ford plant several years ago, I overheard a supervisor discussing a day off with an hourly worker," says Michael Schmitz (UAW Local 425) of Berlin Heights, Ohio. "All I heard was ‘How old are you anyway? That’s the third birthday you’ve had this year.’"

He’s right here
"We were sitting in the locker room one day talking," says William "Tommy" Thompson (UAW Local 862) of Louisville, Ky. "Our foreman walked in and said, ‘What are you all doing over here?’ I replied, ‘Looking for you.’ He asked, ‘What makes you think I would be over here?’ I said, ‘Well, we found you over here, didn’t we?’ He walked away mumbling."

"I don't under value you, Peterson. I just under pay you."

T-shirts for workplace humor

We're looking for a few good stories to tell every issue. If you've got one, send it along to:

"Workplace Humor"
Solidarity
8000 E. Jefferson Ave
Detroit, MI 48214.

Or you can fax it to us at 313-331-1520 or e-mail it to uawsolidarity@CompuServe.com

Include your local number. If we use your story, you'll get a UAW T-shirt.